 |
Uncanny X-Men # 430
"The Draco"
Part 2 of 6 |
Rating:
 |
|
Writer:
Chuck Austen
|
|
Penciller:
Philip Tan
|
|
Key Events
- Treatment on Lorna begins
- Bobby's shattered
- Alex go boom
Questions Raised
- Is Lorna really Magneto's daughter? (Gods, no...)
- Is Bobby dead?
- Is Havok dead? (Please, please...)
|
Inker:
Philip Tan
| Colours:
Avalon Studios |
Letterer:
Rus Wooton
| Editor:
Mike Marts |
EIC:
Joe Quesada
| Date:
October 2003 |
| Featuring:
Sammy, Polaris, Xavier, Annie, Xorn, Carter, Iceman, Husk, Archangel, Havok, Jubilee (non-speaking), Wolverine, Nightcrawler |
| Versus:
Abusive fathers, some unseen people with exploding arrows |
Quick Synopsis:
The X-Men are attacked while trying to snap Kurt out of his trance. Meanwhile, back at the mansion, Professor X and Annie begin mental therapy on Lorna.
Full Synopsis:
When we last saw Sammy, he was going with Alpha Flight back to his home. Now we see that decision was probably not for hte best, as his father is beating the poop out of him. Why? We don't know, but when Sammy's mother tries to intercede, she becomes the focus of his rage while Sammy runs out of the house, his parents screaming at each other all the while.
The Doctor is In for Lorna, although she's taunting Annie, trying to convine the nurse to join her and Xavier on a trip into Lorna's mind. Lorna thinks that it might be beneficial for Annie to get to know a mutant from the inside out, since she hates them so much. Xorn overhears this, and when Xavier asks if Xorn is there to help heal Lorna, he gets a rather terse "No." in reply. Xorn says "Some healing I prefer not to attempt. I often find it futile...and personally draining." Instead, he's there to try and get Carter into his special class, but Xavier says Carter isn't a problem student and has no need to be there, despite the fact that Xorn thinks Carter needs special guidance that he's not currently getting. Xavier assures Xorn that Carter will get all the guidance he needs and Xorn leaves with a rather barbed parting comment. This makes Annie angry, and she agrees to go into Lorna's mind. "When we're done," she says to Lorna, "you come inside my head and have a look at the flip side of mutant-human relations!" Lorna's looking forward to it.
Carter contacts Sammy telepathically (although Carter isn't altogether sure how he's doing it) and the two have a conversation. Carter reveals that he stowed away on the X-Jet and is in the jungle on a mission with the X-Men, but it's cool because Havok is practically his father now. Sammy isn't so sure that this was a good idea, but there's a loud crack and Carter's link with Sammy is broken. Soon after, he's discovered by the archaeologists.
Xavier enters Lorna's mind, Annie in tow. They see Lorna, intimately entangled with Alex and she winks suggestively at Annie.
The X-Men finally appear, as they continue to stand around and stare at the scene unfolding below. It appears as though a demon army of thousands is gathering from within a dimensional portal, but the art makes it a bit confusing to be 100% certain. Wolverine wants to go get Kurt, but Alex is in favour of waiting. He' s soon distracted by the archaeologists hauling Carter into the clearing (ignoring the mile-high tear in the fabric of space/time that's preparing to hemorrhage demonspawn).
Xavier quickly takes control of the situation in Lorna's head and cuts through to the root of her problem. Lorna confesses that she went to Genosha to find out once and for all if she was Magneto's daughter, going so far as to steal a blood sample.
Back on the island, Havok wonders what Carter's doing there, but as it looks like the demons are getting ready to come through, there isn't a lot of time for 20 questions. Then Bobby's show with an arrow, but since he's largely ice and all, it didn't phase him much. Then the arrow explodes, shattering Bobby into a million or so pieces. Warren cries out for Bobby and Havok finally decides that maybe they should do something. The X-Men scatter, and then Havok is shot with an arrow too. He yells for the archaeologist to take Carter and run. Paige, meanwhile isn't have any luck in getting Kurt free and as she keeps trying, someone sneaks up behind and clubs her. Warren freaks out again. And then Havok explodes, leaving behind a gigantic crater. And there was much rejoicing. (Yaaaaay.)
| Review:
I'm not sure if Austen is actually improving or just hiding it better. I'm inclined to go with the later, frankly, but at least there's a thin, greasy film over this arc that allows one to pretend, if one is so inclined, that everything you see here is less sucky than usual. And to be fair, when you compare it to some of the tripe that we've waded through in Austen's run, this is isn't bad. That doesn't make it good, but that makes it almost a high point of what we've seen from Austen so far.
Now the things I'm going to complain about will probably feel like nitpicks, and I suppose I must agree somewhat. However I don't think that makes my points any less valid. Every plotline in this arc has several problems (possible exception being the Annie/Lorna one, which I straight up don't like). So many, in fact, that by the time you put them all together you have a flimsy story with little cohesion and more holes than a sieve. I don't think it unreasonable to expect a well-crafted tale in Uncanny, and I don't think the fact that this is better than the dreck we've received in the past should excuse continued sub-par quality simply because it's wonderful by comparison.
So, in an effort to exorcise my demons, I'm going to go through this issue page by page and lay out my gripes. This could get long (and long-winded), so be forewarned.
- Juggernaut's on the cover and Cain doesn't even appear in this issue. That's sort of a broad-sweeping critique of many X-Men covers of late, but it's really getting irritating.
- The issue opens on Sammy being beaten by his father. Now I have sympathy for this sort of plight, don't get me wrong. And I even like Sammy a little bit. But honestly, does everyone in this series have be the victim of abuse? My complaint about this is larger than that, however. Several issues ago (not yet reviewed, but it's the "Rules of Engagement" storyline), Alpha Flight arrived at the X-Mansion to retrieve Sammy. Turns out that his mother was freaking because she couldn't get in touch with anyone, freaked out, and despite her trailer trash existance managed to someone wrangle Canada's premier superhero team to go to New York and get her son back. I'll save any gripes about these specifics for when I review those issues, but if this is the environment that Sammy was being dragged back to, it's pretty bloody ridiculous. They're asking a bit much for me to suspend my disbelief enough to buy that nobody in the Canadian government did any sort of investigation into this family before sending out the troops to collect a little boy. With that idea firmly planted in mind, it becomes quite clear that, yet again, this is little more than a convenient plot device to get Juggernaut into a situation where he'll be put on trial (the next story arc) and to get Northstar back up to Canada for some more quality "drama".
- Xorn makes his first (I believe) appearance outside of New, thus proving that these characters do all live together. However his appearance seems unnecessary and out of character for him. Xorn in this issue was sarcastic, and almost cruel. That's completely against the Xorn we've seen thus far, who is the embodiment of peace and serenity. I'm unsure the purpose of such an attitude from him ... or indeed for his presence in this issue at all. I suspect it may have something to do with some foreshadowing for Carter, but otherwise I'm at a loss.
- Lorna's therapy sessions begin in this issue, and while I might otherwise be pleased, I'm getting to the point where I don't care about this any more either. Which is a shame, because crazy crazy Lorna was the brightest spot in Uncanny of late. Still though, what seems most ridiculous about all of this is the fact that Xavier is perfectly okay with Annie coming along for his psychic therapy session inside Lorna's head. This is absoultely absurd to me. Annie has had nothing but an antagonizing affect on Lorna since she first laid eyes on her. In addition, Annie represents to Lorna both what she wants and what she can't have. As disturbed as everyone in this book acknowledges Lorna is at the moment, I cannot for a moment figure out what Xavier was thinking. If he's truly interested in rehabilitating Lorna, then it makes no sense whatsoever to allow someone she considers nothing but a threat and a rival, someone who completely unsettles her, to go frolic in Lorna's subconscious. The very fact that Lorna looks forward to having Annie there, with no small amount of evil glee, should send warning bells screaming in Xavier's head. But regardless, if I'm supposed to believe that he's genuinely interested in helping her, then I cannot make sense of this. Again, I can't help but think "plot device", a quick and easy way to either help repair the rift between Annie and Lorna, or cause it to explode violently.
- Next up is Carter, The Boy Who Knew No Age. Just how old is this kid supposed to be again? One minute he's six, then he's twelve, then he's every age inbetween. I don't care how precocious he's supposed to be, at least his speech patterns should be consistant from one issue to the next. Oh, and by the way, I still contend that this child is the spawn of Satan and should be elimited very quickly.
- Poor, poor Jubilee. Can someone please rescue her from the insidious clutches of Chuck Austen? This marks the second issue in a row where Jubes has done nothing but stand there and (it pains me to say this) look like a reject from Shonen Knife. I have never, ever, known Jubilee to stand there and say nothing in her entire life. The girl couldn't shut up if her life depended on it. Please, I beg anybody listening, get this girl out of Uncanny and into the hands of a writer who actually knows what to do with her. We don't need another energy-slinging mutant on the team, and I hate the idea that Jubes is around simply to be someone Paige can lament to about Warren (which is what I suspect her role will ultimately become). She deserves so much more than this.
- The mere notion that Wolverine would listen to any battlefield advice from Havok. Admittedly this is 10+ years old now, but anybody remember how "well" those two got along during the Fall of the Mutants/Australian era? If memory serves, Logan didn't think much of Alex at all. And since the only thing Logan's seen Alex do since coming out of his coma is leave Lorna standing at the altar ... Well, I just can't see that improving Wolverine's opinion of Havok too much. So I think that Wolverine would be much more likely to say "Go to hell, Alex, I'm going to go help my friend" than listen to Havok's advice about what to do in the situation, particularly when Kurt's safety may be at stake. And when Havok does finally start spouting commands (when did this guy become team leader again?) he orders Logan into an unknown dimensional portal. Logan decides thatnow is the time to blindly follow orders. Great timing, shorty.
- Warren in general in this issue was irksome. "Bobby! PAAAAAAAIGE!" <eye roll> Cripes, he's holding Bobby's freaking HEAD in his hands and she wasn't even dented. No matter how hard Austen is trying, I just AM NOT buying the Warren/Paige relationship, and I'm having to try extremely hard to not allow my distain for it rub off on the characters themselves.
- My final (yes, final!) significant gripe relates back to Havok again. Paige is unable to break Kurt free of the circle, so Havok orders her to "Change form, Paige! DO WHATEVER IT TAKES!" Well given that Paige's power is the ability to change her skin into other materials, I reeeally don't see how her becoming, say, stone is going to do much of anything. "Wow, flesh didn't work. Let's try steel! Nope, how about rubber! No, but wow, this gets me thinking about Warren again. Mmm. Naked with Warren .... Ooh, yeah, Kurt. How about Rooty Tooty ice cream? Dammit, I'm just not the right person for this assignment! You suck, Havok!"
I feel better now.
Despite all of this, comparatively speaking it's not a bad Austen issue. I'm going to be extremely ticked if he retcons Lorna into being Magneto's daughter (been there, done that, it hasn't been that interesting in 30 years or so), but for now I'm okay with her quest for that knowledge, even if her obsession with it doesn't make much sense to me at the moment. And then there's that one bright, shining spot in this issue, however temporary it may be. The very thought of Havok exploding into a zillion pieces gives me a warm fuzzy. The issue gets an extra point (bringing it to a grand total of two) just for that happy thought in my brain for the next month or so.
| Quotes:
- Xorn: Of course, Professor. I understand. A mutant with disregard for human life needs modification -- while a human with disregard for mutant life assists you. I apologize for my intrusion.
| |
|
|
