Fanfiction because I do not yet have a website.

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Fanfiction because I do not yet have a website.

Postby Camera101 » Wed Jan 18, 2006 9:38 pm

Here we are, my short angsty-ish ficlet.

Also, this is my first ever fanfic, so a little criticism would be nice.


Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and all related properties belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. Although I wish I owned Angelus's leather pants.

Setting: Post-"Passion" Season 2.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Empty.

That dry hollow feeling that wells up within my stomach as I think of him, that’s the one that I detest the most. The feeling that lends a hand to my expressionless face that I know reeks of ‘depressed girl, aisle nine’.

Xander and Willow see it; they always try to break me out of my self contained misery, with a well placed quip or hug. I pretend, for their sakes, that it works even though my stomach continues to quiver and my eyes want to pour out the emotion that is holed up deep within me. If I were to let it out, I don’t even know if I could cry. Maybe, maybe my emotions are all used up, like the wiper fluid on a car, albeit much more saline intense. Maybe crying myself to sleep every night has lead to tear depletion, its best if I don’t test that theory though. I wouldn’t be able to handle the pitying looks on Willow and Giles’ faces, or the pure anger that I see glint in Xander’s eye. Not to mention the way his hand clenches as if he’s holding a stake.

Even Cordy’s eye roll would probably get to me.

I think the only one who really knows how to handle this is my mom, which is strange considering that she doesn’t know what happened. Maybe that’s why it’s so comforting, none of that blame seems to be coming from her.

Watching the burning candle on my birthday curled up on her shoulder has been the most comforting experience since he took my purity and my naivety. Not that he did all of the taking that night. Pure isn’t even a word I think I can use, I feel so used and dirty. There’s also this horrible nausea that I get when I think that it’s me who brought that monster back.

The monster that is slowly trying to drive me insane and hurt everyone around me.

Oh God, Jenny.

Really, it’s her that has broken me. I think of the way he hurt Giles through Jenny and I want to vomit again and again, to get the responsibility and destiny out of me, dispel the overwhelming sense of guilt that permeates my very being.

And to think that Giles might look at me and think that I could have done something about it is unbearable.

I didn’t have the strength before to do it. I thought, like a fool, that my dear lover would awaken and return to me. They call me the Slayer? Now it seems like such a joke, such a fatal flaw that the Fates would choose one who makes so many mistakes to be the hand of good. I brought him back, he’s my responsibility. And as soon as I track him down.

Angelus is dead.
Last edited by Camera101 on Tue May 30, 2006 3:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Kerkevik » Wed Mar 15, 2006 5:19 am

Hi,
I really liked this piece. Heartbreakingly tragic and just about the right length for what it needs to say. I wish I could write more of this myself. Well done, with added some virtual applause.

Ray.
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Postby Camera101 » Wed Mar 15, 2006 4:03 pm

Thanks :)

I was in an extra angsty mood when I wrote it, and it just flowed pretty perfectly.


Next comes my Buffy epic......sometime soon :P
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Postby D.M.Jewelle » Wed Mar 15, 2006 5:00 pm

I don't watch Buffy so I don't understand what's going on, or whose POV it is, but I did like the writing style - short, sweet, and the feel. Nice!
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Postby devin10487 » Thu Mar 16, 2006 1:44 pm

JW Sez: Edited to spoiler out <b>the entire plot</b> of Buffy season 2.

This is Buffy's point of view, towards the end of Season 2, after [spoil]Angel, the vampire with a soul, lost his soul. He had a moment of perfect happiness while sleeping with Buffy, which broke the ensouling spell and caused him to revert to his evil state[/spoil].
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Postby Camera101 » Thu Mar 16, 2006 6:55 pm

Yeah, sorry Guess I should make that a little more apparent.
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Postby Jet Wolf » Thu Mar 16, 2006 10:50 pm

Good lord, Devin. One almost wonders what the point of watching season 2 would be after your post there.

I've edited for spoiler space. Please make sure to be careful about this in the future. Particularly if you're talking to someone who you <b>know</b> hasn't watched the series, thereby guaranteeing that whatever you're telling them is a spoiler.

-=Jet Wolf
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Postby willownut » Sat Jun 17, 2006 1:04 pm

<i>This post culled from the herd during the Great Backup Wars of March 2007. Or, put another way, Jet Wolf has been known, on occasion, to suck. Uhm. Yeah. Whoops.</i>
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