Reviewed Friday, 16 February 2001
The show opens in a tavern where an auctioneer is selling various trinkets to a happily receptive, semi-drunken crowd. Those around him mostly ignore the goings on, until the auctioneer produces a piece of parchment, proclaiming it to be "the last known scroll of the Bard of Poteidea", telling the final adventure of Xena the Warrior Princess. This attracts the attention of the barkeep, and he looks up, startled. It's Joxer, perhaps 50 years old, and not having aged all that well, with stringy white hair and a pasty complextion. Still, his mind seems to be sharp as ever (well, as sharp as Joxer's ever was), and he rips the scroll from the auctioneer's hands, eyes devouring the contents. He confirms that it's Gabrielle's handwriting, making the scroll authentic. Duh, says the auctioneer, and opens the bidding at 10 dinars. The patrons take the bids, particularly one sloshed individual who bids 30 dinars, which Joxer angrily says should be used for the man's tab. Joxer clearly has as little respect in his golden years, but with a bid of 65 dinars, he graps the scroll and rushes off with his prize.
Back home, Joxer's wife Meg chastizes him for spending all their money on a worthless piece of paper. Joxer, sounding more than a little bit like Billy Crystal here, tries to explain that it's Gabrielle's, but Meg will hear none of it, wondering when Joxer will accept the fact that Gabrielle and Xena are long dead and gone. Seeking solace, Joxer escapes to the barn to read the scroll, being joined by his two young children. He offers to tell them a story, and unravels the scroll. Cue flashback.
Seeking answers to her dilemma, Xena pays a visit to the Fates. They confirm that Eve will bring about the Twilight, but when exactly that will happen depends upon Xena. Or, more specifically, upon Xena's death. Xena listens raptly, but Gabrielle joins her and tries to pull her friend away, debating that Xena has always said that we make our own destiny and the Fates are full of it. Xena however says that she doesn't see any way out besides her own death.
After visiting with the Fates, Xena and Gabby make their way through the woods, Eve in a carrier on Xena's back. Energy bolts shoot past Xena, almost nailing her, and Eve cries. Xena tries to quiet the baby, and listens, finally throwing her chakram seemingly nowhere, but striking something, sending sparks flying. Hades' helmet of invisibility lands at Xena's feet and the god of the Underworld is joined by Athena, who is soon joined by her archers. Athena demands Eve, saying that the death will be swift and without pain. Xena fails to be impressed, and lets her chakram do the talking, taking out Athena's troops. Athena moves in for the kill herself, and as Xena stumbles, Gabrielle calls for Xena to toss Eve to her. Xena refuses, and Athena asks if Xena no longer even trusts Gabrielle to keep her daughter safe. She lands a blow, throwing Xena to the ground, where she is soon joined by Gabrielle who's being trounced by Hades. Knowing they're well outmatched, Xena tosses Hades' helm at the gods, exploding it with the chakram and escaping in the confusion.
They seek refuge at Octavius' camp. Xena tends to Gabrielle's cuts, using poison to stop the infection, explaining that it's only harmful if swallowed. As she applies it to her own injuries, Gabrielle asks if Athena might be on to something, but Xena explains that she just didn't want to make Gabrielle a target, especially when it would've only bought them a few more seconds of time. They both realize that they're running out of options.
Meanwhile, on Olympus, Athena is holding a meeting with the other gods. She wonders why it is that Xena just won't die, and Hephaestus boldly states that if they get Xena in his chains, that'll be the end of the warrior. Athena rolls her eyes a bit. Ares appears, and says that Athena's question is one best put to Death herself, and Celesta appears. Celesta says that she can only take mortals when it's their rightful time, but Athena wonders if Celesta isn't perhaps playing favourites. "You can't deny them their proper time either," she reminds Death.
Xena has managed to locate the forges of Hephaestus, and sneaks in. They exchange a line or two of witty banter before the god deals Xena quite the beating. So savage, in fact, that Celesta appears. "What took you so long?" Xena asks her angrily. As Hephaestus raises his hammer for the killing blow, Gabrielle manages to pull his arm back with his own chains. Having now attracted his attention, Gabby tries to not get killed by Hephaestus while Xena, grabbing the chains that the bard tosses her, binds Celesta. Death floats gently to the ground, dropping her candle. Xena manages to save Gabrielle in the nick of time, knocking Hephaestus into his own fires.
Cautiuosly, the duo inspect Death -- the chains truly are remarkable, they can bind any god. They note that with her hands tied up, Celesta won't be touching anybody for some time, and they lead her outside, Xena making sure to bring the candle wtih them. Octavius is waiting for them with a cart and horses, as well as Eve. Death is secured in the back of the cart, and they ride off after thanking Octavius.
Back on Olympus, Athena looks out over the world. Ares appears again, lounging on Zeus' throne. Not even favouring him with a glance, Athena brings up Eli's martyrdom at Ares' hands which started this whole mess, as well as his fighting against her in Amphipolis. She turns on him, and Ares looks nervous, but Hephaestus and Hades interrupt the exchange with news of Celesta's capture.
Nighttime, and camp has been made. Gabrielle sings quiety to Eve while Death looks on. She says that the other gods will stop at nothing to get her back; Xena replies that they'd better hurry as the candle is burning out fast, and once it's gone, Death dies and everyone else lives forever. Celesta reflects back on the events in the first season's Death in Chains episode, saying that this isn't at all like Xena and Gabrielle. Xena says that she's decided since then that Death causes a lot more suffering than she relieves, citing her brother and son, Lyceus and Solan, as examples of wrongful deaths. Gabby begs Xena to stop tormenting herself, saying that Death, being immortal, can't understand the concept of loss. But Xena is adamant that Celesta WILL understand, and brings up the bond between Death and her brother, Hades. Xena is successful to a degree as the idea of losing Hades upsets Celesta to the point that she sheds a few tears. Xena wipes them away bitterly, saying that she won't lose what's left of her family. The conversation over, Gabrielle reflects that Celesta is right -- the gods won't stop trying to get her back.
The next morning, Gabrielle runs into a tavern, looking for Joxer. She finds him, but just before he's confronted by Athena's archers. He tries to hit on them at first, but when that fails miserably, he just tries to avoid as much pain as possible. Athena appears, and upon noticing Gabrielle comments that Xena clearly doesn't trust the bard with Death either. Hades is also present, and is so violent about discovering his sister's whereabouts that he almost loses it and kills Gabby. Athena stops him, though, realizing that Gabrielle is worth much more alive than dead. Joxer, however, has no worth, and Athena will kill him if Gabrielle doesn't cough up Celesta's location. Reluctantly, Gabby says that they're heading to the ocean. "Details to follow, I'm sure," Athena says, taking Gabby with them. One of her archers punches Joxer in the nose and knocks him out.
At the campsite, Athena appears to Xena. Death is sitting in the cart, not looking too hot. Xena says that it's too late for Celesta now, and Athena says that she certainly hopes not for Gabrielle's sake. The goddess offers a trade, Gabrielle for Celesta. Gabby tells Xena not to do it, but Athena makes a convincing argument about Eve's future with ever-lasting torment by the gods without even death to end it all. Xena agrees. Gabrielle and Celesta are both released. As Death touches her candle, it immediately grows to its standard height, and she starts floating again, looking good as new. Xena and Gabrielle start scrambling into the wagon, knowing that they've lost their only trump card. Athena beckons for Celesta to stay, saying that she has need of her, but Celesta is needed elsewhere, and she vanishes. Xena climbs into the driver's seat, and Ares appears next to her, petitioning Athena for a head start. Athena will have none of it, however, and the wagon races off. "You know what to do," Athena tells her archers, and they disappear into the woods.
Meanwhile, Joxer has regained conciousness, and he runs through the same woods, trying to find his friends. He remembers what Gabrielle said about the ocean, and quickly changes direction.
Ares tries to convince Xena that she should just accept his help, as the gods will never give up until Eve is dead. She tells him to stuff it, and he vanishes. "Okay, Gabrielle, we're on!" Xena calls out.
The wagon breaks from the forest into a clearing, where Athena, Hades and Hephaestus are waiting for them. They all launch attacks on the wagon, causing Xena to turn hard. Gabrielle has been sitting in the back of the wagon writing furiously, but she drops her scroll and it falls to the ground.
Fade to old Joxer, who is holding the scroll. "What happens next?" the little girl asks. "That's the end of the scroll, pumpkin," Joxer tells her, "but not the story." They ask how he knows. "Because I was there," he replies, and we dissolve back into the past.
Athena's archers fire on the cart, but Xena drives it through their lines, sending them running. The clearing happens to be atop a cliff, however, and Xena narrowly avoids driving the cart over it. Joxer has arrived, and he watches anxiously from the edge of the forest, unable to do anything else. The archers are taking aim at the cart again, and Gabby lets her sais fly, taking down two of the women while Xena uses her chakram to knock out the rest. Unfortunately, she had to stop the cart to take proper aim, which has allowed the gods to get a bead on them. Athena points her sword, and a burst of flame surrounds the cart. The horses manage to break free and run off. Joxer looks on, horrified. With flames all around them, Gabby seems to faint, and Xena calls to her. The three gods take aim at the duo. "It ends now," Athena says, and all hell breaks loose. Fire, energy and weapons go flying. Xena reaches for Gabrielle as the blast hits, sending flaming cart over the side of the cliff. The gods stand triumphant.
At the bottom, the cart is a burning ruin. Gabrielle isn't moving. Joxer breaks from cover, and runs towards the base of the cliff, unnoticed by the gods, who walk to the edge to see their handiwork. Xena is still alive, and crawls to her feet, muttering first Gabrielle's name, and then Eve's. She stumbled to the cart, but it's a charred mess, there's no way the baby survived it. Joxer has reached the bottom of the cliff, and watches from a distance, stunned. Xena looks up, and sees the gods peering down at her. "The prophecy has been shattered," states Athena, and Xena screams her defiance at them. She then makes her way to Gabrielle, but she is limp and unresponsive. Xena wails over the body of her bard. Joxer is horrified. Xena glares up at the gods and draws her sword, yelling at them before making to impale herself on her weapon. She's saved in the nick of time by Ares, who takes the sword and throws it away, but Xena won't be so easily dissuaded. She produces the poison she used earlier in the episode, and despite Ares' quiet pleadings to not drink it, she does. "Join your family," she says. "Tell them it's a package deal. They get me, too," and she dies. Ares blinks and swallows hard, and the other gods vanish.
Ares stares at the carnage around him as Joxer runs forward. There is first one flash of light, and then another. As Joxer approaches, Ares turns to look at him, holding Xena's body in his arms with tears in his eyes. A third flash of light, and the god vanishes with Xena. Joxer falls to his knees as a group of horses approach. Octavius is among them, and he greets Joxer, inquiring where Xena and Gabrielle are. Joxer says that they're dead, but Octavius says they're not, and produces Eve.
Back to old Joxer, and his kids are asking how Eve could still be alive. Joxer reminds them of what the Fates said, but notes that you can't take the Fates literally. "Only in the essence of death will the child find salvation and the Twilight be set in motion," they had said. Cutting to the past, Octavius fills young Joxer in: Xena didn't drink poison, she drank Death's tears, which create the illusion of death. This was Xena's plan all along, to create a situation wherein the gods thought that Eve was dead to trick them into leaving everyone alone. In a flashback (within the flashback), we see Octavius switching Eve with a doll while Gabrielle and Xena were camped and talking to Celesta. Also part of the plan was Gabrielle getting captured so that Celesta could be released in a manner which would not raise suspicion. Old Joxer in voice over says that he thinks and hopes that Gabrielle drank the tears before the cart went over the cliff, and we see Xena shielding an unconscious Gabrielle from the fall. The gods assumed that Gabrielle was killed in the crash, and Xena's "suicide" confirmed the loss of both the child and the bard. Sadly, Ares screwed it all up by being uncharacteristically sentimental.
Cut to a frozen wasteland. Ares carries Xena to a cave in a mountainside. He places her in an ice coffin; there's an identical, smaller coffin already sealed next to it. He stands over Xena's body and reflects on Xena's life and what she meant to him in a surprisingly touching eulogy. He kisses her goodbye and says that he loves her before closing the coffin. At the foot of them, he imbeds Xena's sword in the ice, and hangs the chakram from its hilt before walking outside and sealing up the cave and vanishing.
Inside the cave, the camera pans up the sword and chakram and focuses on the two coffins before fading to black.
After a seeming eternity of mediocre and downright painful episodes, Looking Death in the Eye was a extremely welcome breath of fresh air. It had a gripping plot, seemingly impossible odds to overcome, shiny new character development, acknowledgement of past events, and it even managed to raise some questions. This is what is best about the Xenaverse when it's done right, and I'm delighted to say that for the first time since this whole pregnancy thing started, that's what they did. Which isn't to say that I liked everything about the episode. Joxer suddenly going from robust young man to ailing senior citizen is troublesome, and for such an important event, I think the gods were particularly sloppy, but ultimately, these are just details, and don't manage to sully my overall enjoyment.
Four Unfinished Scrolls Out of Five |
At least he can get mead at discount prices now. As mentioned above, I didn't like the aging of Joxer. I've made it no secret that I'm a fan of the big lug, and to see him so old and lonely, even with his family, was saddening. The way his customers treated him also spoke volumes about his life -- the poor guy just never managed to get a break. Perhaps is was never the kind of respect that he wanted, but he did garner at least some respect from Xena and Gabrielle, and when they died, it's clear that the last people to see Joxer for who he really was died too. (Next episode sheds a bit more light on that one, but more on that when it comes up.)
Proof? I spit upon your proof! You know, if I were an Olympian god, and I knew that my entire existance hinged on the death of one person, I sure as hell wouldn't give up the chase without knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that said person was truly dead. They should know by now how crafty Xena is, not to mention how desperate. Personally, I wouldn't believe a single thing she ever said or did. So she's acting like Eve's dead? You get your high and mighty butt off that cliff and go check it out yourself. I understand that this was impossible to keep the story's integrity in check, but from my standpoint, these Olympians have been nothing but stupid from Day One and deserved everything they got.
Trust no-one. I was disappointed that Athena's allusions to a decaying trust between Xena and Gabrielle went nowhere. Twice she mentioned it, and twice it seemed to have little place in the story. If Athena were working on some mind games with Gabrielle, I could understand it, but it just never came up anywhere in the episode, making the comments (which peek ones interest) feel awkward and clunky. The fact that it's addressed by Gabby and Xena right after the opening don't help that feeling either. They could have just easily avoided the issue altogether in the script, since bringing it up served no purpose. It might not even be so bad, except for the fact that Athena mentions it again, long after you forgot about it the first time. I'm all for red herrings in a story, but this was more a sort of off-yellow herring, pointing nowhere and adding nothing except a bad aftertaste.
Never the End. Call the continuity cops. Joxer said the scroll had ended, but when we cut to him later on as he's explaining what was going on, he's still reading from it. Okay, maybe he was using it as a referance -- he is suddenly older than dirt and all. But it wasn't the first thought that popped into my mind, so it looks more like a flub. Tsk.
Quick thinking. Ever wonder just how far Xena can plan ahead? Yeah, me too. You know, her drawing her sword to kill herself was a nice touch, but you have to wonder how that all fit into her plan. Did she do it because she could sense that Ares was there and knew that he'd stop her? You have to think that she did, because you can't quite fake a sword in the gut like you can swallowing poison. Which then brings up the question, was that always in the plan, or was it just a situation that Xena capitalized on for some extra punch? Either way, it's a bit flimsy, although Lucy manages to convey Xena's pain so effectively that it's the sort of thing you just accept as you see it.
When Joxer Met Meg. Really, who else would he wind up with? But it was still kinda neat. If he couldn't have Gabrielle, he goes for a Xena-clone. That works for me.
"Well, Athena, you can call off your search -- I've found Hades." Xena to Athena after removing Hades' helm.
Forging Relations.
I Remember When... After half a season of feeling like I was watching some twisted pod people version of Xena, it was nice to see that this episode's writers not only could take an extremely lame storyline and make it interesting, but actually <gasp!> knew of Xena's history! It says a lot for the quality of this season that I got so stoked over a mere passing mention of first season stuff.
"She may never know death, but I promise you, she will never know peace." --Athena making a very persuasive point to Xena while bartering for Celesta.
I love it when a good plan comes together. Yeah, I complained about it above, but at the same time, it's great fun to see these impossibly elaborate plans all play out the way they're supposed to. Let's face it, the situation looked so grim, I didn't have a clue how Xena was going to make it. We know that she will -- she's the title character, after all. But sometimes the journey is more fun than the end result.
Quote of the Episode:
It's a little difficult to reflect on this kind of episode so late in the game. It was clearly intended to make you ask questions, and by now, mid-way through Season Six, I have them all answered. The problem with being so far behind on reviewing, I suppose. Instead, then, I'll focus on a question I had then which still hasn't really been answered, and that is: Where did Celesta go?
After Death is freed by the Olympians, Athena says "Stick around, you'll be busy in just a few minutes," obviously planning to send Xena, Eve and/or Gabrielle Celesta's way. However, she replies cryptically with "I'm needed elsewhere," and vanishes. Now this was obviously done for story purposes to get Death out of the picture. If we could still see her, we'd see that she never touches our duo, and that would doubtless ruin the cliffhanger at least a little bit. However, the way she says her parting words leads one to believe that there's something else going on that we should know about. But no, she just vanishes, and that's the end of it.
The best I can think of is that her appointments backed up while she was being held by Xena, and she had rush off to take care of the backlog. That, and the fact that she clearly knew it was not yet Xena's time to die, thus no, she WASN'T needed, so screw you, Athena.
But then, that brings up another good question, doesn't it? If Celesta already knows when it is and isn't a person's time, then why did she appear in Hephaestus's forge? This was clearly a plan that Xena had concocted specifically to trap Celesta, so I guess Death doesn't know when people are supposed to die after all.
Or, basically, Celesta was a plot device, and a powerful one of that, so of course her usage is going to be a little flimsy. I could fault the writers for this, but I'm not going to. They did such a wonderful job with the rest of the episode, I'll just overlook their transgression here and thank them for making what looks to be a very interesting season finalé.
Questions, comments or marshmallows? Send them to jetwolf@jetwolf.com.