Reviewed Saturday, 4 March 2000
It's a morning so beautiful it's worthy of a breakfast cereal ad. A rooster crows. Xena is roused from a restful sleep and Joxer bursts into stable-cum-bedroom with an obnoxiously cheerful "Rise and shine, everyone! Rise aaaand SHINE!" Gabrielle declares that while she will rise, she most certainly will not shine, and unburies herself from a mound of hay next to Xena. Joxer has a helmet full of goose eggs for breakfast, and a dropped horseshoe quickly chooses scrambled as everyonen's egg of choice. The shoe slipped from the hands of an individual who, upon first glance, seems to be a homeless pervert that has been spying on Xena and Gabby all night long, but turns out to be the guy who puts on horseshoes. He'll fix up Argo, but since the blacksmith is from a rival house, Xena will have to get the shoes herself.
Gabby says she wants goose eggs, and the king of goose eggs volunteers to get them for her. Turns out Gab doesn't really like them, she just wanted some peace and quiet for a while. The peace turns out to be an extended engagment, when a fight breaks out between two men (one from the house of Menos and one from the house of Lycost). Joxer tries to break the fight up and gets killed for his trouble.
Yup, you read right. Killed.
There's nothing Xena can do, and that night, Xena and Gabrielle watch Joxer's pyre burn. Gabrielle feels guilty for sending Joxer off to get eggs she didn't even want, but Xena says that there's no blame for what happened. As she says this, she notices one of the dualists and his girlfriend watching from the nearby trees. Xena convinces Gabby to get some sleep, and they both drift off, Xena's arm around her sidekick.
It's a morning so beautiful it's worthy of a breakfast cereal ad. A rooster crows. Xena is roused from a restful sleep and Joxer bursts into stable-cum-bedroom with an obnoxiously cheerful "Rise and shine, everyone! Rise aaaand SHINE!"
Xena stares in wide-eyed horror at the walking dead.
Her horror only lasts the opening, though, and she greets Joxer with a gleeful noogie. Gabrielle says she'll rise, but not shine. Joxer has a breakfast of goose eggs. Something clicks, and Xena shoves Joxer out of the path of a plumetting horseshoe.
In town, Xena tells Joxer and Gabby about her experience, trying desperately to make them understand. It's not working. Joxer gets excited that Gabby cried over his death and Gabby starts to try the goose egg trick. Not this time, though. Xena breaks up the fight about to happen while Gab and Joxer hide in a nearby alley. True to form, though, Joxer spreads hate and discontent wherever he goes, and he almost gets himself killed in the alleyway. Xena manges to save Joxer ... but one of the dualists dies. The houses declare Xena and Co. public enemies.
As night falls, the trio return to the stable to find the butterfingered stableguy moaning on the ground with the crap beaten out of him. "I wouldn't tell them which one was yours," he says. "So they killed them. They killed them all."
Argo is dead.
They rest in the forest that night, and Xena is pretty broken over her loss. Joxer says that in a way, Argo's death is his fault, but Xena knows he had nothing to do with this.
It's a morning so beautiful it's worthy of a breakfast cereal ad. A rooster crows. Xena is roused from an unrestful sleep and immediately checks on her horse. Argo neighs a greeting. Joxer bursts into stable-cum-bedroom with an obnoxiously cheerful "Rise and shine, everyone! Rise aaaand SHINE!" Gabby steadfastly refuses to shine. Xena hasn't closed her gaping mouth since waking. She tells Joxer to move, but he refuses, and sure enough, a horseshoe hits him on the head and ruins breakfast. Xena quotes the stableguy's apology as he gives it, earning her odd looks from Gab and Jox.
Town again, and Xena tries to convince her friends what's going on. She's getting increasingly irritated. Joxer suggests to end the house feud by making the enemies hate the three of them so much, the houses band together to kill them. Not surprisingly, this plan doesn't go over well. Xena listens in as the first duelers begin arguing and thinks she has an idea for how to stop the cycle - rescue an old guy who is nearly run over by someone from the opposing house.
It's a morning so beautiful it's worthy of a breakfast cereal ad. A rooster crows. Joxer bursts into the stable-cum-bedroom with an obnoxiously cheerful "Rise and shine, everyone!" He doesn't get any further than that, though, as a fully-clothed Xena rushes past him, ruining breakfast in the process.
Cut to a crochety old man strolling in blissful ignorance towards his demise.
Not this time, though, as Xena leaps and saves the old man in the nick of time. She asks if he's okay. She asks several times, in fact, because the man is deaf as the proverbial post and can't hear her. He's irritated that those damned Menos freaks drove over his hat.
Xena tries to explain what's happening to Gabby and Joxer. They don't quite get it. And worse of all, saving the old man did nothing, as the dualists are now fighting over one of them seeing a member of the opposite house. Xena orders Gabby to get Joxer to safety and they hide in the alley while Xena breaks up the duel and relieves some tension at the same time. Until she notices where Gab and Joxer are going. She runs there at full speed, as we hear Gabrielle cry out "Joxer, NO!" Xena turns the corner, just in time to see Gabrielle impaled on the end of a sword.
Gabrielle dies in Xena's arms.
"It'll be alright, Joxer. It will. It has to be," she tells her sobbing friend. That night's main event: Gabrielle's funeral pyre.
It's a morning so beautiful it's worthy of a breakfast cereal ad. A rooster crows. Xena wakes up and is immediately filled with a wary dread. She reaches cautiously to the pile of hay next to her ... and is overjoyed when she hears Gabby's tired moan. Xena pulls a hay-covered Gabrielle to her feet and excitedly embraces her. (At this point, I should note that I have felt the desire to make a "roll in the hay" joke at least three times, but have abstained. You're welcome.)
Joxer bursts into the stable-cum-bedroom. He manages to get out the "rise" before seeing the two women embracing. The helmet of eggs falls from his numb fingers and then he rushes them, wanting to be part of the affection. Xena and Gabrielle tolerate this for about 5 seconds, and then beat Joxer off of them.
Xena outlines what happens every day, trying to figure out what she's not doing right. "Maybe it's the rooster," Joxer offers.
It's a morning so beautiful it's worthy of a breakfast cereal ad. A rooster almost crows. Xena goes back to bed, hoping the problem is solved.
It's a morning so beautiful it's worthy of a breakfast cereal ad. A rooster crows. Xena screams in frustration.
In town, Xena orders Joxer and Gabrielle to stay put but refuses to repeat why for the umpteeth thousandth time. Consequently, Gab and Joxer just think she's flipped. Joxer starts to leave, but then Xena starts to tell Gabrielle that Joxer adores her, and just how much: "He'd crawl 15 miles on broken glass just to sweat in your shadow." Joxer tries to cover everything up while Xena tries her latest idea.
It's a morning so beautiful it's worthy of a breakfast cereal ad. A rooster crows. Xena gets up quickly - she's got a busy day. She breaks up fights all over town, but she can't catch them all. Joxer brings up his idea again, and this time, Xena tries it, but not before noticing the plot point of a broken nightshade bottle - "lethal stuff."
Joxer mocks both houses. In return, both houses stop their fighting, but only for a few moments. Just long enough to signal their archers to take the trio down.
It's a morning so beautiful it's worthy of a breakfast cereal ad. A rooster crows. Joxer bursts into stable-cum-bedroom with an obnoxiously cheerful "Rise and shine, everyone! Rise aaaand SHINE!" Xena kills him. Gabrielle freaks out and tries to remove the chakram from where it's embedded itself in Joxer's chest while Xena settles down to sleep in.
It's a morning so beautiful it's worthy of a breakfast cereal ad. A rooster crows. Xena is suiting up for battle. Joxer and Gabrielle are bound and gagged in the stable.
Around town, Xena interviews various "neutral" parties. She tries to aquire some nightsbane, but the apothocary can't find it. He doesn't come off as particularly responsible with his lethal drugs, though. Next up, the midwife, who may deliver babies, but can't bake a muffin to save her life.
It's a morning so beautiful it's worthy of a breakfast cereal ad. A rooster crows. Xena leaps up as Joxer comes in and beats him to his own "rise and shine" speech.
Gabrielle asks if they've really repeated the day as many times as Xena says they have. Yes, we have, and not only that, I'm going to answer your next 20 questions before you ask them, anything else? No, good, let's go. Xena breaks up the first duel and says it's time to talk peace. She breaks up several more, and reveals some of the dirty secrets about the towns people that she learned from the midwife. Finally meeting the head of both houses, she convinces them to talk to each other and end the feud. Xena feels sure this will end the repeating day, and Gabrielle and Joxer agree with her, not able to fully hide all hints of patronizing. The warrior princess smiles, sure that her ordeal is over, but the camera focuses in on a bottle of what I would assume to be nightshade says differently ......
It's a morning so beautiful it's worthy of a breakfast cereal ad. A rooster crows. Xena throws a fit.
Xena reviews everything that's happened thus far while doing some relaxation exercises that don't appear to be working too well, although she DOES come up with a possible solution. Gabrielle and Joxer watch Xena. They don't appear too confident of their friend's sanity.
A familiar face is confronted in town - the woman who looked on at Joxer's funeral, the one who the first duelists fight about, the one who appears often times at the outskirts of whatever goes wrong during the day. She's holding a vial that Xena grabs - yup, it's nightsbane, and she took some just after sunrise. Xena thinks she as the answer to finally end the day, but one of the duelists tells her differently. Xena's stable is all the way on the otherside of town, and she'll never make it in time to stop the girl.
The duelists's name is Mirron and he's from the house of Menos, the girl is Hermia and she's from Lycost. Surprise surprise, they're in love, but the houses are against it. Mirron had a plan for them to elope, but Hermia had already taken the nightsbane when she heard about it. Mirron prayed to Cupid, who said that the girl would die tomorrow, but granted him a wish. Mirron wished that tomorrow would never come, and so the day continuously repeats until a warrior arrives who will fix everything. Xena wonders why Mirron didn't ask for her help, and he said he was expecting Hercules, but he can't interfere anyway. He doubts Xena can do anything, the distance is just too great.
Xena goes to bed and says goodnight to Gabby and Joxer, who don't look like they've moved a muscle all day.
It's a morning so beautiful it's worthy of a breakfast cereal ad. A rooster crows. Joxer bursts into stable-cum-bedroom with an obnoxiously cheerful "Rise and shine, everyone! Rise aaaand--OOF!!"
She makes her best effort, but Xena doesn't reach Hermia in time to stop her from drinking the poison, so she spends her day surveying the town from a variety of angles, despite Gabrielle's attempts to get her to break up the fights that have errupted all over. Xena is pretty intent on her work, going so far as to take Gabby's staff out of her sidekick's hands as she's attempting to defend herself. The fight ends when the entire town has beaten the snot out of each other.
It's a morning so beautiful it's worthy of a breakfast cereal ad. A rooster crows. Joxer never even makes it to the door before being clobbered by Xena who quickly greets him and then throws her chakram. In an impressive display of physics, it riccochets all over town, finally knocking the vial from Hermia's hands before she can drink it. Mirron rushes in at that moment and embraces his beloved and Xena leaps in to make a successful chakram catch.
To top off the day, she makes peace between the two houses and Mirron plans to ask for Hermia's hand in marriage. Joxer is touched by the romantics and looks at Gabby meanfully. Xena and Gabby roll their eyes.
It's a morning so beautiful it's worthy of a breakfast cereal ad. A rooster crows. Xena is roused from a restful sleep and Joxer bursts into stable-cum-bedroom with an obnoxiously cheerful "Rise and shine, everyone! Rise aaaand SHINE!" Gabrielle declares that while she will rise, she most certainly will not shine, and unburies herself from a mound of hay next to Xena. Xena looks horrified. Joxer has a helmet full of ... turnips. Xena is so delighted that she kisses Joxer and then gives an empassioned speech to Gabby to sieze the day because tomorrow may never come.
Then a hammer nails Joxer on the head, and Xena errupts into delighted hysterics.
Reviewing this episode may seem a little bit odd, in the respect that until now, I've only done Season Five or Season One. This episode isn't even the first of its own season, and is the sort of random selection that I usually frown down upon.
So then, why did I review it at this time? Yesterday, I was organizing my unlabeled Xena tapes, and came upon this episode, recorded earlier that week from the Sci-Fi channel. I'd never seen it before, and while I didn't originally intend to watch anything, my eye was caught, and I decided to treat myself. The last episode I'd see was Married With Fishsticks, and quite frankly, I think that one was sitting on my head a little too much. Been There, Done That looked like it was a pretty good ep, so why not?
I was utterly delighted to find that not only is Been There a "pretty good ep," it's a 50 minute laugh-fest that I enjoyed so much, I decided to review it immediately.
The crux of this episode is something that I've not had in Season Five much at all thus far - FUN. I freely admit that I find repetition amusing, and there certainly wasn't a shortage of that. I also have always been a fan of "time loop" episodes of any sort ... Cause and Effect is my absolute favourite of ST:TNG episodes, and while not being my favourite, Back and Back and Back to the Future was the first Farscape episode that made a serious leap at catching my eye. So you see a trend here. If it's well done, if it doesn't leave me with a million and two questions about how, when and where, I like this sort of story.
Watching Xena progressively lose her composure was nothing short of engrossing, and was definitely the highlight of the show. Again, Lucy Lawless shows off her incredible range, starting the ep off as typical Xena, always confident and in control, and ending up a mere two paces from the nuthouse. It even managed to give us insightful glimpses into what would happen if tragedy befell our troupe? What if Joxer's bumbling finally led to serious trouble? What if a bunch of cowards took their revenge on Argo? These are glimpses into Xena that we wouldn't get to witness in the mainstream progression of the series ... unless it was sweeps week or something, and the writers were in a bloodthirsty mood, but you get my drift. It's a safe, reversable way to knock some of the pegs out from under our characters and see what happens to them.
But the overlaying theme here is definitely comedic. When the right combination come together, the Xena staff can do comedy like no other. The result, a chance for the loyal viewer to be entertained for an hour. And ultimately, isn't that what television is all about?
Four Unbroken Goose Eggs out of Five |
Joxer the Mighty? From a production standpoint, I KNOW why Joxer doesn't get into more trouble, but from the standpoint of the show itself, HOW does this guy make it? More importantly, how did he live to meet up with Xena and Gabrielle in the first place? Especially if he was running around, trying to impress hardened criminals with his "Bloody Joxer" story. I'm a Joxer fan, truly, but I have to query the logistics of his survival in days when a single village in BFE could be assaulted no less than 10 times every year by different warlords.
A plague upon both houses! The "blood feud" between the houses of Menos and Lycost (I originally heard that as Lycos. I kept expecting a big black dog run up from out of nowhere and deliver Tylenol to Xena). This didn't seem so much a blood fued as a minor disagreement with a lot of testosterone thrown in. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for peace, but all it takes to end decades of violence, bloodshed and name calling is Xena saying "Stop that, why don't you talk?" "....Oh YEAH!! I forgot we could do that! Man, I wish I'd have thought of that before I gutted your favourite pig, sorry dude." With some stretchng of the imagination, I could understand the two heads wanting to end the feud and possibly even considering proposing peace for a while themselves but not wanting to conceed defeat. But when the two heads shake hands, THE ENTIRE TOWN starts cheering, dancing, embracing and other such expressions of joy. THESE are the same people who have been "taught to hate" from the moment they're born? Boy, I wish I could toss off a grudge that quickly. Someone gets on my shit list for looking at me the wrong way, and I wouldn't spit on them if they were on fire. These guys, though, have been trying to kill each other from birth through to 10 seconds before the handshake, and suddenly they're hugging like they've been best friends all their lives.
Yup, that's one heck of a blood feud you've got going there.
"Son of a BACCHAE!" Xena regarding Joxer.
Warrior's Wavelength Joxer: I knew this would happen some day. You and me on the same wavelength. Two great minds, one thought. Gabrielle: Only half a wit.
"Thanks, I just needed to say that out loud." Xena, after running down the first three quarters of the episode in the space of 2 minutes.
The calm before the storm. I made mention of it in the basic review, but it deserves note again. Xena's progressively deteriorating state of well being is the thing to watch this episode. Because Xena usually IS so stoic and together, watching her legs get kicked out from underneath her from time to time is a treat and helps to keep her human. And let's face it, given the opportunity, Lucy is one hell of a comedic actress.
"Well, we better get some rest. Today is going to be a very busy day tomorrow. Small joke." Xena, definitely losing it now.
"Been there, done that, didn't work." Xena, summing up the entire episode in one handy sentence.
Quote of the Episode:
This was a good episode, but not necessarily one for deep, soul-searching moments. Two things of note, however.
"Is that a hickey?" Joxer asks Xena. There is an uncomfortable pause. Gabby looks guilty. Was my eyebrow the only one shooting up slightly? As I said in my RKT inroduction, I'm not the sort of fan that makes looking for subtext evidence my life's mission, nor do I refuse to see it. I hold my own thoughts and opinions on "that side" of Xena and Gabrielle's relationship and as they doesn't really fit into either camp, I keep them quietly to myself. But then you see little things like this and have to query if it's intentional or just your brain playing tricks on you.
Lastly, but certainly not leastly, Argo's death. I find myself drawn to this event. More specifically, Xena's reaction to it. Don't get me wrong, I'm a bonafide animal lover. If I lost one of my beloved animals in such a violent manner, I'd be torn up too. But Xena looks so ... haunted by the loss of Argo that it makes me wonder if she didn't lose something more than a trusted steed. What that could be, I don't know. But Xena obviously aquired Argo sometime between HTLJ's Unchained Heart and XWP's Sins of the Past. That's not a whole lot of time to find a horse as special as Argo and bond with her that quickly. I guess it's the hack writer wannabe in me that tries, then, to CREATE an answer if you can't find one. What is that? Well, I don't know. Again, if I ever sit down to write stories again, maybe we'll find out. Until then, though, it's certainly something to think about.
Questions, comments or breakfast tips for Joxer? Send them to JetWolf@jetwolf.com.