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OSB: Proud winner of the Cruel Site of the Day
Selected on Saturday, 24 June 2000

Back to The Heart of the Flames

We're anxiously awaiting your next pointlessly stupid complaint.

Who are we? We're many things, as you've likely gathered if you have explored other areas of my site. But for the purposes of Operators Standing By, we are members of the work force, serving our customers who hate and despise us for merely doing our job.

We are the people that you scream at for not being in the office when you call at 3am wanting to know why your cable was disconnected for not paying your bill for the last six months.

We are the people that you call and immediately hang up on 50 times in a row because you couldn't get a date for Friday night and you want someone else to suffer with you.

We are the people that you expect to know exactly what it is you're calling for, when you yourself can give us no specific detail regarding the product in question.

We are the people that are all-seeing, all-powerful, all-knowing, who can fill your every whim and desire without you having to utter a single word, and get it done for you in seconds while still grovelling at your mighty feet because we are little more than disease-infested dust motes compared to your magnificence.

We are the answering service. And we hate each and every one of you, too.