Post-aquarium, we began our journey home. We decided to head back a different way, searching for new sights and possibly photographic opportunities. Sadly, whether due to a natural lack or our own tiredness, we didn't get nearly as many on the way back as we did on the way there, but we do have a few more to share.

We passed signs like this several times, and each time without fail, I missed the picture. Indeed, even this picture is blurry and difficult to read. But it is a "Tsunami Warning Zone" sign. That in itself is unremarkable, however the image they have chosen to grace the sign is not. It is a silhouette of a person attempting to outrun a tsunami. I do not believe that this is the recommended course for dealing with this kind of disaster. Having never lived through a tsunami, I could be wrong. I can only hope that they picked this picture without intending it to be an advisor of action to take. Much like the signs located in Portland which show people being catapulted from their bikes if they cross the MAX tracks.
Head-first. Into rocks. I love those things.
What's even funnier, is that Mike was saying at one point, after missing yet another warning sign, that maybe we'd get lucky and find a "Leaving Tsunami Warning Zone" sign posted in the opposite direction. I laughed at that, saying, "What will it show, a little man running back to the water's edge, jumping up and down that his life was spared and taunting the waves?"

Well no, apparently it shows the exact same thing, as upon closer examination, this is a "Leaving Tsunami Warning Zone" sign. Why then does the man still flee in terror? Oh how you confuse, tsunami warning sign!

I like this bridge, not for its native bridginess, but for the structures on either side. They look like they came right out of City of Heroes.
I was tempted to try the City of Heroes physics and see if I could fly, or if the cars would simply brush me aside harmlessly. Looking back on it, it's probably best that I didn't.
This trip page would have a very different ending.

Finally, the building that solves the mystery. This Dairy Queen sports a large, wall-sized banner proudly proclaiming the wonders of the Chili Lime Chicken Strip Basket. No, apparently it doesn't cure infertility, it won't clean your house for you, and you can't use it to convert lead into gold, it just tastes good. Which is arguable, really. From the picture on the sign, it looks as though this might actually be a chili-lime-breaded chicken strip with some sort of equally repulsive grayish dipping sauce.

It even happily suggests that you "Add a Pepsi!"
"Make it two! You'll need them!" As if one tiny soda is enough to wash down the horror that is the chili lime chicken strip basket.

But for every puzzle resolved, another appears. This Dairy Queen was placed in the middle of nowhere, near no other form of society. Was the target audience elk? Or perhaps the wayward moo cow who had gotten lost and didn't mind being fed some of its barnyard chicken friends? The world may never know...

Not just any old stretch of road, this one has railroad tracks running alongside.
"Don't race the traaaain!"
Don't worry if you don't get it. Just trust me – it's funny.

Yet another post office. This time dwarfed by my mighty fist that prepares to deliver swift, harsh justice.

The attraction here was the sign you can't read very well. It says, "Rain Forest Mushroom CO", which I presume means "Company". If so, that makes this even more surreal.
A) No rainforests. B) Oregon isn't exactly famous for its mushrooms. C) This doesn't look so much like a company as it does a deserted building that some guys found with a couple of mushrooms growing in it.
I myself was thinking how it looked like a piece of styrofoam packing material that came with my laptop.

More pretty trees. Also possibly burnt.
One thing you can't deny about this state: it's very, very green.

Okay, so why this seemingly random photograph of the back of an unremarkable car?
When your wife asks you if the people in the car in front of you eat babies, you tend to take notice.
It's what I thought the bumper sticker said! "We eat babies." I mean, I asked for clarification. I didn't just assume I'd read correctly.
I very much now want a batch of "I eat babies" bumper stickers to put on cars.
On the odd car that you pass. Just for kicks. Oo! I would personally put one, maybe two, on every single Hummer I saw on the road. "I eat babies for gas."
"Fueled by baby!"
Oh, we are definitely going to hell.

But, of course, I was mistaken.

The sun obscured the important bit, but it says "Why Not Tat2's?".
You can obviously see why she thought it said "We eat babies."
....

Anyway, what's even funnier—
Like anything could be funnier than a "We eat babies" bumper sticker?
<gags Mike> WHAT'S EVEN FUNNNIER is the sticker next to it. "I was a whiny little bitch..."

Okay, maybe that's not funnier.
I mean, apart from the "w", where did you get any of that?

Behold! Jim's Fruit Stand. And looking only a little bit less reputable than the "Super Patriot" fresh seafood trailer mentioned earlier – only without the handicapped parking. It does however, have the benefit of being placed in a special "Don't drink and drive" zone, which I wasn't aware was only a local thing in some parts of the state.

That's right. Look at that dancing pear-avocado-water-balloon thing! It's happy and joyous to be devoured! It practically puts the knife into your hand and jumps headfirst into the stove! Our vegetables, like our prices, are insane!
But wait, it still gets better. Did you notice the giant red thing, hiding shamefully toward the back?

Yes, it's a giant mutant strawberry! Deformed, now with proboscis! And what's more, it's also species-confused! It has hijacked the "LOCAL CORN" sign, and now attempts to pass itself off as warm, buttery corn product! That's red! With huge, throat-choking seeds! And seriously, what is that thing at the end? I've had many a strawberry in my life, and ain't none of 'em looked like that.
See the corn in the back? I think it's scared to come near the strawberry. Wouldn't you be afraid to come near something that looks like a tonsil with mono?

Our final picture is, visually, pretty much the suckiest in the bunch. What you aren't seeing is the green sign that says, "49th Parallel. Half way between the Equator and North Pole."
That's pretty cool.

This concludes our anniversary road trip. I'd say I wish you could all have been there, but I don't. You always leave the toilet seat up, and I hate that.
And the jacuzzi only fits two.