They kill me.

While on the IMDB just a few minutes ago, having been lured into reading their news clips with the tidbit about the title for the 6th Harry Potter book (The Half Blood Prince, apparently), I saw this news article:

British comedy duo Dawn French and Jennifer Saunders were horrified when they accidentally injured '60s singer Lulu in their new TV series. The funnywomen pretended to 'shoot' the Scottish hitmaker in a spoof of Quentin Tarantino's classic film Pulp Fiction. Lulu explains, "It all went slightly wrong in rehearsal. I was bleeding and had to go to hospital and have stitches. I still have the scars." Embarrassed French and Saunders sent the ex-wife of Bee Gee Maurice Gibb a gift to apologize. Lulu says, "It was a piece of silver jewelry with the words, 'We shot Lulu' engraved on the front and 'sorry' on the back."

Gods, I love French & Saunders. Seeing Dawn French as the Fat Lady was the highlight of Azkaban ... well, that and Hermione punching Malfoy.

...wow, I just double-looped my Potter/F&S references. That's gotta be a sign of good fortune. (Work with me.)

Outrageous!

OMFG. Jem on DVD. JEM on DV-FREAKIN'-D. My inner child is quivering with excitement.

I loved this cartoon. And I say that knowing it some way cheapens me as a human being. But I did. It was my guilty pleasure. I still have some video tapes recorded from TV. Complete with commercials. I've not stooped myself to viewing them in yeeeeeears, but I have them. All except one that got all ate up by the VCR eons ago. Which upset me, because it had that great episode where Jem and Riot run away and the Misfits get control of Starlight Music in some fashion that I can't exactly recall and the episode opens with Kimber interrupting the opening credits and I remember NOTHING else about the episode but that. But I thought it was great.

Gods, do I really want to buy this? I mean, not right now, because $45 for the DVDs right around birthday time isn't too smart (especially not since I spent way too much money the other week on a bunch of busts ... Ooo, but the D'Hoffryn one, so. cool.), but eventually. Will it even be one-tenth of as awesome as I remember it being? Almost certainly not. But still ... dare I stay away?

... O_O

If Jem's coming out in DVD, can GI Joe be far behind? Maybe it's already out. Little twelve-year old me is totally spazzing right now. Get me The Facts of Life too, and I can relive every afternoon in middle school.

Oh, hey, someone likes me.

Apparently I just got nominated for some award-type thingie for "Growing Up on a Saturday Afternoon". Go me. So, whoever did that ... thanks.

On an unrelated note, the other night Mike and I watched "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians". (MST'd, of course.) May I say that I think is is probably one of the worst pieces of crap I have ever seen. I mean, this movie offended me on levels I didn't even know I possessed. I do not have a deep enough gift of language to express how abysmal this thing was. The pain. Oh god. The pain.

And the worst part? I still have the freaking theme song in my head two days later. Weep for me, friends. Weep. For. Me.

Jet Wolf, Secret Masochist?

I'm starting to think quite possibly.

I obviously haven't been in enough "I can't control you" pain of late, so I decided to do something to myself, thereby cementing in my head for all time that I am indeed my own worst enemy. And I hate my enemies.

This has likely been mentioned before, but by and large, I hate food. I grudgingly admit that I need it, but rarely have the patience necessary to prepare it and resent that there simply isn't a pill I can take that won't make me hungry any more. I was really, really not in the mood to make anything yesterday, but despite that, I threw in a frozen dinner, given that "cut slit in film, nuke for 3 minutes, stir, nuke for 2 minutes" is, in all honesty, even more directions than I really want to follow. But I sucked it up and went for luke warm reheated ravioli.

My exceedingly difficult stirring tasks complete, I grabbed the first plate I could find, one which admittedly was not entirely the correct size for the container, and carried it to the couch to resume my writing while I ate.

Now here's the fun part. Because for a brief moment in time, I guess I simply forgot "Hey, I'm carrying my lunch. My lunch that I just infused with enough radition to make really, really hot." And I just sort of threw myself on the couch as per usual.

While holding the aforementioned really, really hot tomato saucy delight.

SLOSH.

PAIN.

FUCK.

Aaaaall over my neck, dripped the really, really, oh-my-god-it-BURNS sauce. I managed to get it off, but not before the damage had been done. It looked like I'd somehow managed to remove my neck and left it out in the sun for nine hours without one of those colorful umbrella things to rest under.

But wait! There's more!

Because when I checked on it later, I saw how it had blistered all up. Very attractive. Now I have three long blisters running down the side of my neck. I suppose I should be grateful I don't have more of them, or that they don't look worse, but honestly, I just keep thinking how uncool those scars are going to look.

Today, to top myself, I'm thinking about managing to somehow accidentally trap my little finger in a blender. Just you wait, I'll do it, too.

Stupid Blog.

Okay, so note to self: that big blue button down there that says "Save as Draft"? Not the same as the big orange button that says "Publish Post".

So yeah, that nugget of golden wisdom below has been sitting here for a week. And here, I just thought nobody found me entertaining anymore.

In unrelated news, all 'A's for my classes this term ... yay. You know, I'd have a 4.0 if it weren't for that bitch I had for English. What sort of topsy-turvy world is this where I keep getting 'A's in math, but a 'B' in English? It's insane I tell ya!

...stupid bitch. Curse her eyes.

So now summer is officially upon me, and I can ... write The Chosen. No summer classes for me this time around, I'm taking a few months off, and writin' the hell outta this thing. That's the plan, anyway. Sounds effective, doesn't it?

Nostalgia day!

Funny how stuff just burrows up from the depths of your brain sometimes, then REFUSES TO LEAVE. For no particularly good reason I can think of today, I have this jingle running around and around in my head. I'm really not exaggerating when I say that it's probably been a good 20 years since I last heard this thing, and it's mildly alarming that I can recall it as well as I can.

In a vain attempt to prove that Saturday mornings Really Aren't All About Selling Useless Products To Kids, No Really, I remember a phase where all the networks were going on a kick to insert some PSAs in amongst the commercials for breakfast cereals and action figures. Stuff like "One to Grown On" ... I think I got the title right.

Anyway, so out of nowhere today, into my head appears this jingle with the following lyrics. Now I don't remember all of them, but given that it has indeed been 20 years or so, I'm pretty impressed I got this much.

It was about making sure to each breakfast in the morning, and doing its perky, happy best to convince you "I don't have time!" was a lame excuse that would earn you several months in a burning hell of your own making. I can't recall how it started, exactly, but here's what I can recall ...

{something something} for the job
Late for school
{something something}
{something something-that-rhymes-with-school -- this gets better, promise}
Make a quickfast
It's a breakfast
Only fast! Fast!
Get a quickfast!
A piece of toast and one of these {don't remember what the "these" was}
Some peanut butter or a slice of cheese
Milk or juice to wash it down
It's a fast! Fast! Quickfast
Breakfast in town
Quickfast!
{Then we got an annoying kid voice saying ...}
"No time for {something}. Have a quickfast! Another nutritional message from the ABC network."

Now I know it's not perfect, but I can remember all that, but I forget to eat lunch and can never remember when my dentist appointments are. I swear, my brain is nothing but a repository for information so useless, I couldn't even go on Jeopardy.

Memorial Day

No, no barbecues on my end. Actually, I all but forgot it was a holiday, Memorial Day means next to nothing to me (I think I even did a rant on it a few years back). I had a pretty blah weekend, all told, though it started nicely. Mum and I finished watching Buffy S6 with a HUGE marathon session (I think we went from "Doublemeat Palace" through to "Grave") on Saturday, but then some time between Sunday and Monday I got myself into a pretty bad depression. Not sure why and it's gone again now, but ... <shrug> So consequently, I did little.

Now it's mostly finishing up school stuff. I've completed all my assignments for one class, so that's over with, and I just have two finals left in the others, plus one extra credit assignment due on the 6th that I'll most likely do, just in case. I'm sitting at a 102% in that class right now, but I suspect that final's gonna be tricky, so some buffer is good.

That aside, it's all about the writing, hence the current quiet. Though on the plus side, my stomach has given me no trouble at all since that last time I mentioned, so it's looking increasingly like no doctors for me. That makes a happy Jet Wolf.